Thursday, 31 May 2012

First and foremost


First and foremost I think before you read this there are something’s you should know about me so I have bullet pointed a few basic facts with an appropriate title



BRIDIE’S FACTS OF AWESOMENESSITUDE2

·         I LOVE ORANGE JUICE IT IS THE GREATESS DRINK IN THE WORLD. for many reasons but my favourite reason is it makes me feel like I’m on holiday at one of those breakfast buffets with the giant jugs of different juice and the tiny glasses I always ended up getting about eight different glasses and just filling all up before I sat down so I wouldn’t have to stand up for refills

·         BANANAS ARE DISGUSTING they are possibly the most vile food (if it can be called that) to ever exist and in my personal opinion they can all FUCK OFF! I was actually happy about 6 years ago or something when I heard they could go extinct in a few years but sadly I’m still waiting for that day and for now they just sit there taunting me in my mother’s fruit bowl with their ridiculous colour and suggestible shape quietly whispering (we still exist) not for long you arrogant fruit you.

·         Anyway moving swiftly on to a more awesome fact of awesomenessitude2 MICHAEL JACKSON IS A LEGEND. Nuff said. Well actually I will say more he is the greatest performer to have ever lived and was a humanitarian and an amazing human being and I assume a wonderful father it is a tragedy that he is not living among us anymore and I can only hope that the rest of you reading this blog think the same.

·         I have invented many inventions that would benefit the world (and I’m not telling you what they are) but cannot inform the world of my genius because god did not give me the artistic talent to show the world my ideas and as for trying to explain my ideas to someone with the capability to draw my genius I have terrible describing skills (just ask anyone who has heard me try to explain a movie to them) I would be screwed if I was the only witness to a crime and had to describe the person to the police.


Ok bored of fact giving and without clear direction of where this blog is going we have yet again come to a standstill to be honest if I were you I would give up on this blog and read something worthwhile like a great classic novel or thumb through a magazine at the dentist it will probably be a better use of your time.



ON WITH THE BLOG!


“Much like anyone with too much time on his or her hands, I feel as though I am the most important person on earth and everything I do is relevant.” -  Macaulay Culkin

Damn the title was the easy part now I actually have to write something ……. Shit I was hoping that with a hilarious title like that writing this would be easy maybe I will write a funny introduction later I just have to think.











(Several minutes pass…)













Nope nothing oh well.













NOW ON WITH THE BLOG!