Things I would do with loads of money and a giant house 2

1.       Pay my favourite celebrities to come and hang out with me. (then they will become friends with me and never leave)

2.       Get a machine like in Futurama that could have brought that dog back to life (but fry didn’t go through with it, and you saw the dogs whole life just waiting for him to come back. not ashamed to say I cried my fucking eyes out watching that episode.*)

3.       Get a dance teacher so I could become an awesome dancer and challenge people to dance battles

4.       Get all the old school games consoles like n64 and sega mega drive and the awesome old school games that go with them (like Pokémon stadium 1 and 2)

5.       Have a mirror that takes pictures

6.       Hire someone to write my blog while I dictate it to them

7.       Buy me and my baby sister matching outfits for everyday of the week

8.       Get someone to bring back the T.V show friends

9.       Get someone else to stop Hollyoaks and Waterloo road

10.   Hire a makeup artist and a costume designer to help me create the greatest Halloween costumes of all time

11.   Make someone put all the episodes of Eastenders on Dvd and also find out what day they are really on (because they miss out every Wednesday they also repeat on Sundays and get messed up for stuff like football and the Olympics or elections)

12.   Hire a personal researcher to find the name of a film I saw when I was like seven, about an eleven year old criminal boy who kept getting arrested until one day he gets put in to care, sets his room on fire and hides in the wardrobe and dies.

13.   Get someone to fix my old laptop that won’t switch on so I can get all my family photos off of it

14.   Get the same person who fixed my laptop to put all of the home movies from Hi8 to Dvd

15.   Bring out my own unisex fragrance either called ginger  excellence or whiff of awesome

*I also cried about that episode of Pokémon when ash set Butterfree free, and the episode when he almost said goodbye to Pikachu, so damn sad.

Future Wordsmith (Im Better Than Shakespeare)

So as I am an amazing wordsmith I have often been described as “better than Shakespeare” and to you non-believers I will prove it. As lots of you probably don’t know Shakespeare made up many words, most of which we still use today and I have done the same (although I think my words are way better) here is a list of my words and there meanings.

1.       Spings

Definition: well actually I have no idea what spings should mean (we’re off to a good start) but I like the sound of it so I'm sure I will assign a meaning to it soon enough I’ll keep you posted if I think of anything, feel free to suggest ideas (unless they’re stupid which they probably will be… on second thoughts just leave it the professionals).

2.       Plong

Definition: an incredibly stupid person, item, or action. it also sounds a bit like a sound, but if it was a sound it would be a low deep sound, but it feels like something falling in something thick like ready brek (it doesn’t sound like it, it feels like it kind of beyond words. you just feel it) … Plong

3.       Awesomenessatudeocity

Definition: Bridie (well what did you expect)

4.       Clabarific

Pronounced: Kl -aah-bur-if-ik

Definition: an idea or series of ideas that stems from an idea you stole from someone else but you feel you have improved on the original.

5.       Grank

Definition: a combination of the words grim and rank to describe something so disgusting you can’t use just grim or rank.

6.       Twibimexo

Definition: ok well to be honest I think this word is absolutely fucking ridiculous and I wrote it down while I was watching a Twix advert and just tried to mash a few random words together but I kept it in my list to bulk it out tbh.

7.       Veginary

Pronunciation: Veg (like leg) in (like in) and ary (like air ee)

Definition: a hateful word to describe a super smug vegetarian/vegan that keeps mentioning the fact they don’t eat meat and shoving it in your face to try and make you feel guilty for your life choices (pricks) (not all vegetarians and vegans are like this just saying).

8.       Qump

Definition: the stupid twatish walk you do when you get up after sitting on the floor and you have pins and needles in both legs and your legs are really heavy and can’t feel if you have trodden on the floor after each step.

That’s it for now, but I'm sure a bunch of year 8’s will still be studying me and my work in 400 years

(I may be a wordsmith but clearly i am no artist)

 From the mind of a genius, Bridie

THE SLOTH RULE (I Met Julie Walters)

Due to completely foreseen circumstances (of pure laziness). I haven’t been updating this blog as frequently as I would like, but like noodle blindness this happened because of another well-known phenomenon called THE SLOTH RULE (which I invented and am hoping it will be a thing). Which is named as such because you move incredibly slowly, It is similar to procrastination but you aren’t putting stuff off by just not doing it, you are doing the work needed but just at an excruciatingly slow pace (for example I started this post on 1^st September) this post is to just give you an update and to tell you some brief highlights to catch you up on my life.

·         I have had jaw surgery (still haven’t regained feeling in my top lip) and I had blood taken from a woman who I still hold the opinion was Julie Walters but she claimed her name was Tracy (I know the truth).

·         Rearranged my room and found my old animal crossing game among other awesome things from my childhood (started it up again and it’s awesome btw).

·         I have restarted my search to find the name of a film I saw when I was like seven, about an eleven year old criminal boy who kept getting arrested until one day he gets put in to care, sets his room on fire and hides in the wardrobe and dies. its better than it sounds though trust me, (I have tried to Google a vague description of it) but haven’t found it yet (still looking) hopefully when I'm rich enough I will hire a personal researcher to find it but until that day I will do nothing.

·         Wrote half a CV and will continue to sloth rule my CV until I can think of someway to bulk out nothing, and make no experience and shit at maths sound like a positive thing. (Plus my dad has no printer ink so you know this is really all his fault).

·         I have invented a series of words (wait for my next entry).

·         And finally I rediscovered my love of Pokémon and DBZ so wait for a few mildly obsessed posts.

That is pretty much it for now, I haven’t really gone out much or done anything with my life because of the surgery and healing. (I am aware this post is boring) I just wanted to update my readers on stuff (I haven’t forgotten about the little people) 

More to come,

Love (just kidding) Bridie