Recipe for the perfect British insult (not for the easily offended)

Recipe for the perfect British insult

Ok so I have a fairly different set of insults, compared to the uncreative masses that seem to think calling inanimate objects gay makes sense. (I'm pretty sure that they don’t have a sexual preference although my lamp has come on to me a few times and that weird drunken night together just made things awkward) I use these sort of creative insults on a daily basis (mostly used in semi friendly/jokey tone at my sister) and hear is how you can come up with some similar ones to me (because let’s face it you want to be like me as much as you can) so I will give you two lists one of good insulting words and one of various things this person may or may not be or have.

LIST 1

1.       Whore

2.       Sket

3.       Slag

4.       cum

5.       Bitch

6.       Wanker

7.       arse

8.       douche

9.       Ho

10.   anus

11.   ass

12.   cock

13.   tit/tits

14.   cunt

15.   dick

16.   fuck

17.   Wank

List 2

1.       Bag

2.       Hat

3.       Face

4.       Sundae

5.       Suit/tuxedo (class up your insults)

6.       Balloon

7.       Pile

8.       Monkey/bear/butterfly (any animal really)

9.       Mobile

10.   Rainbow

11.   Tie

12.   Sandwich

13.   Remix

My favourites are: slag tuxedo, tit balloon, dick rainbow and cum butterfly.