I Want To Be Remembered (this post is dedicated to lisa)

Ok I haven’t written in a while mostly because I have been busy starting videos on YouTube but I haven’t forgotten about my blog I have just had only sort of half-baked ideas and I started writing them but never knew how to finish and it felt quite forced and none of my other post felt like that so I wanted to wait until I had an idea that felt natural like my others. And here it is

Lately I have grown and changed a lot probably just in the last 4 months, and it has only hit me now how much I have grown and learned about myself, and one thing I have learned and accepted is my fears and insecurities and it’s so crazy for the first time in my whole life I genuinely don’t hate myself like seriously. I used to hate who I was so much. And now I am so unbelievably positive it’s ridiculous.

But, among all this thinking and acceptance, I was thinking about life and not just mine but living in general and people stories and baggage and also how people can have these entire lives and then just die and they are eventually forgotten like they will be remembered by a few close people they effect but after they have gone then that is it just completely gone all their memories all their dreams hopes fears and their impact to the world (unless they have had a huge contribution to the world like a famous person*) is gone and life goes on and things keep changing and I was thinking that that has happened for millions of years and doesn’t it make life seem kind of small and insignificant and all your problems kind of pointless as well.

Anyway just thought I would drop this depressing post on you and then leave you sad, and hoping that I will have some happy final sentence to leave you with and to change your mood all around … but nope that is all.

Toodles

Bridie

*when I say famous I don’t just mean celebrity I mean like and inventor, writer, politician. anything that would make you like a household name

The Bridie Song

I wish I had a song with my name in.

 There are so many songs out with girl’s names in, why can’t someone write one about me I'm sure loads of things rhyme with Bridie…. None come to mind right now but I'm not a songwriter (so I will let a highly skilled songwriter work on it like one of the geniuses at Eurovision)

Anyway I am not going to attempt to write my own song on here as you may have already guessed. but I am going to edit a few well known songs to see what it would be like to have a song, and if someone is inspired to write a song for me then that would be a bonus. (Hint, hint)

1.      Mandy- Barry Manilow

Well you came and you gave without taking

And I sent you away, oh bridie

And you kissed me and stopped me from shaking

And I need you today, oh Bridie

2.      Jolene- Dolly Parton

Bridie, Bridie, Bridie, Bridie

Im begging of you please don't take my man

Bridie, Bridie, Bridie, Bridie

Please don't take him just because you can

Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring

Your voice is soft like summer rain

And I cannot compete with you, Bridie

3.      Billie Jean-Michael Jackson

Bridie Jean Is Not My Lover

She's Just A Girl Who Claims That I Am The One

But The Kid Is Not My Son

She Says I Am The One, But The Kid Is Not My Son

4.      Ruby - the Kaiser Chiefs

Bridie, Bridie, Bridie, Bridie

And do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya

Know what ya doing, doing to me?

Bridie, Bridie, Bridie, Bridie

5.      Valerie - Amy Winehouse

Since I've come on home,

Well my body's been a mess

And I've missed your ginger hair

And the way you like to dress

Won't you come on over

Stop making a fool out of me

Why don't you come on over Bridie?

Bridie [x3]

Some of these songs work quite well and I feel are improved with my name in, also Jolene and Valerie talk about gingers so I will count it that they are about me secretly

Ok so just after I finished writing this post I decided to Google check to see if I did have a song with my name in (should have probably done that before hand) anyway turns out there is a song (making this entire post pointless. Nice one Bridie)

Anyway here is the link (I don’t like the song very much, but if they want to write a song about me and name there group after me who am I to criticize)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNlHfi8XZoY

First Post Of 2013: The Zipwire Story

It’s just like me to miss two great blogging opportunities, I missed Christmas and I missed New Year. A time when people are driven crazy by their family, friends and the annoying TV repeats so they turn to the internet, which would have been a chance but I was in a Christmas coma induced by multiple sweet tins, turkey and presents.

If you were wondering what I got for Christmas then wonder no longer I got

1.       Cougar Town - Season 1 [DVD]

2.       How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 [DVD]

3.       Modern Family - Season 3 [DVD]

4.       Bad - 25th Anniversary Deluxe [3 CD/1 DVD]

5.       Diff’rent Strokes Season 4 [DVD]

Anyway on with the first blog post of 2013!

 

So I am going to try to rewrite from memory something I wrote in year 7 English. 

I didn’t want to do it.

I knew it was a bad Idea from the second we got off the coach that morning, but there I was after a whole morning to panic at the thought, I was stuck in a line I didn’t want to be in. taking steps towards what I didn’t know at the time but was about to be one of the worst memories of my childhood. I begged not to do it but my pleas fell on deaf ears and I was patronised and guilt tripped  into complying so there I stood close to tears but holding them back in front of my friends then before I knew it I was up there I was the front  watched by the people who had gone before me. Click. I was strapped in my harness and definitely not ready to jump, I was pushed.

I don’t remember much of the actual zip wire riding experience. probably because what happened next tainted that memory. the next thing I remember it was over I was at the end of the line still hooked up, but at that point at least for a spilt second I felt relief and a small sense of accomplishment but that changed extremely quickly.

(That was all I wrote in year seven but now I'm nearly nineteen I have procrastinated enough I think I will take a crack at finishing the story, and even anyone wants to contact miss hall and tell her I have finished this English homework and refer her to my blog I would be grateful.)

I looked down (huge mistake) I saw one boy from my class shouting up to me to release and come down, I couldn’t the harness was jammed I was stuck (I didn’t find out until later that my harness hadn’t been put on properly in the first place)  but right there in that moment knowing I was stuck and feeling helpless in panic my hands slipped from the hope so I was there dangling from the waist by an improperly fastened harness feeling like a turtle on it shell, after what felt like an eternity the instructor had to get a giant ladder and fix my harness and help me down, all I could hear is laughter from the ground below from the classmates I thought were my friends.

At least at this point only half the class knew, the other half would be informed the next day by my complete ass hat of a year six teacher (Mrs Burgan) who to this day I despise she sat everyone one down on the carpet and told the whole class the incident as I sat there with the class staring at me trying to cover their laughs. Its moment likes that have seriously scarred my self confidence that only now I have started to build back up again but hopefully writing this I can move on because I used to hide from the embarrassing points in my life but now I just except them for what they are and move on so this is me moving on and not caring.

P.S I still hate you Mrs Burgan

Not Affiliated With "The Secret Tool"

Not Affiliated With "The Secret Tool"

I noticed I've been getting hits from a blog called The Secret Tool, and I'm not sure why. From what I can tell, TST is one of those ads that promise to teach people how to make money from a concept called auto-blogging. I'm not sure why they linked to me or what this is about, but For the record it was not something I solicited. This blog has never been for profit and although I sometimes talk about books, products, or films I like I endorse no one. And certainly not a business that claims to make bloggers money. I believe that defeats the purpose of free and fair blogging, especially publishing blogs. And I would NEVER endorse something without knowing anything about it. I will check into this further to see what it's about. And if you were referred here from The Secret Tool, I apologize that they have wasted you time

 

hey i stole this off of a different blog (http://ryan-field.blogspot.co.uk) but it say everything i wanted to say so why try to reinvent the wheel.

 

(pretty depressed to be fair i thought i had a fan that was sharing my stuff with other people, for a while and was all happy and now im feel really sad so im just gonna go cry in a corner)

The Ghost of Christmas Past (90's Rant)

After my last post which was a lot more personal and heartfelt, I feel like that is something I want to do more on this blog not necessarily like that, but defiantly less jokey lists (but don’t panic I will still put up the occasional list, because you know me I love my lists) but I will start writing more real stuff with more of my opinion because otherwise what is the point in a blog if it’s not to broadcast your opinion to a world that doesn’t care. And this post is going to be about 90’s kids

I personally hate people who think being a nineties kid makes them cool or special.

Now I am a nineties kid (born in 94), but I don’t think that it gives me or anyone else the right to act all superior to everybody, well not superior but like the way they think they had the best cartoons or the coolest toys, I think that is stupid because every generation is going to look at theirs fondly and consider it better then the previous/next because you experienced it first-hand though a child’s eyes with a child’s mind and heart, (at this point I would like you to stop reading and go on to YouTube and play the song “with a child’s heart” by Michael Jackson)… and welcome back anyways back on topic. Whereas you are looking at other generations things from and outside view with an adult (or young adult) view on the world and the things you see.

Just think in like 15 years from now people will be like all nostalgic over iPhones/ iPads and will be like oh do you remember 3D TVs, but I doubt it will be said out loud though, because I assume everything will be communicated telepathically.

 Just in case you were wondering though these were my favourite cartoons as a child:

·         Pokémon (I liked Pokémon up until the stuff past like the Jhoto sort of episodes and even with those episodes i hated that twat tracey that took over from brock)

·         Penny crayon

·         Williams Wish Wellingtons

·         The Blunders

·         Sonic the Hedgehog

·         Family Ness

·         Cow and Chicken

·         Earthworm Jim

·         The Powerpuff Girls

·         Ren and Stimpy

·         Rocko’s Modern Life

·         Sonic Underground

·         Super Mario Super Show

·         The Wild Thornberrys

(Some of these cartoons may be considered 80’s cartoons, but it took ages for them to come on VHS so it was the nineties when I saw them which counts as cartoons I watched in my childhood which was the 90's)

Anyways a bit short and sweet but it’s Christmas

So have a happy holiday

Some Of The Real Me.

I saw the documentary Bad 25th anniversary on Sunday. All I can say is it was beautiful.

You may have noticed that this isn't going to be funny, sarcastic or in any way a jokey post, this post is serious and everything I put in this entry I mean it with all my heart.

 And in no way shape or form is this post going to say everything I want to tell you. it’s not going to be perfect I'm going to miss bits out or find something indescribable, but in a way maybe it being imperfect is perfect in its own way like the song  “Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay” it was never finished there was supposed to be a final verse but Otis Redding whistled it and was going to finish later, but he died so it stayed unfinished, imperfect in his eyes but in the eyes of millions a perfect song. Listened to and sung over and over by generations, so hopefully me seeing this as imperfect is ok.

To a lot of my friends it comes as no surprise that I would want to talk about this documentary, because in last year of secondary school it was no secret I was a fan of his.  On some level just like almost everyone I grew up with Michael’s music as the background to childhood a sort of staple in life, just always there like you were born knowing his songs that's how it seemed. I know being born in 94 I wasn't there when people were seeing his work the first time around especially since the first big hit with the Jackson 5 was in like 1969. and I wasn't a kid sitting up watching Motown 25 when he showed the world the moonwalk, or going in to school the next day talking to everyone about seeing the  “Thriller” short film or “Bad” which were and still are ground-breaking, and maybe by time I got my turn to experience these things for myself they seemed old and tainted by media and that people had grown bored or complaisant  or used to seeing and hearing him and his music,

But there was always something subconsciously sort of subliminally that made me notice his music, like the cover of “Smooth Criminal “by Alien Ant Farm I loved that song without even knowing it was a cover I heard it and loved the lyrics I never really liked the rocky style they did it in (even though I said I did to try and copy my big brother) but I listened to that song over and over and feeling like I wanted more in a completely inexpressible way then I heard the original and it was everything I wanted and more, and the song “Rock My World” one morning when my brother was flicking through music channels I heard a tiny snippet of that just before he flicked to another channel I never knew he sang that until years later after I bought all the albums. but when I heard that, that morning I remember it, I told him to go back to the channel adamantly,  but by time he actually listened to me and went back it finished. but the reason I remember that is because the bit of his song I heard I loved it like seriously loved it. and at the time I wasn't really in to music I listened to the odd song, but I felt very much on the fence kind of take it or leave it .so to feel that way about a song like that for me at that time was a big deal.

 I really started to notice his music in 2008 I think I was. when the “King Of Pop Greatest Hits Album” came out, the advert came on one afternoon and I just really wanted it so I just got dressed straight away walked down to Tesco and bought the cd brand new, and I remember walking home with it in the bag and feeling like I can't wait to play it wishing I brought my Sony cd Walkman to play it on, and  when I got home I remember my mum had a go at me for getting brand new as soon as it came out because she thought there was no point in getting  I could just wait until it was out a while and gone on sale but I didn’t care that I spent more money on it, and I played that album all the time I didn't want to do anything not listening to it I would sit trying to focus on homework or whilst wanting to read at night, and completely failing because I wanted to hear him and sing along at the same time, I remember at the time my favourite song was scream, but since then and having like 14 songs total some even Jackson 5 songs taken from LimeWire  I now have like 780 including remixes unreleased and leaked demos and anything he is in as a featured singer. But with that many songs it's easy to just feel used to him and let it just be something I'm used to and carry on with life and grow up and let it get smaller and care less a bit

But I wanted to write this today because watching this documentary I felt the old magic that indescribable feeling that just so powerful I cried, because this feeling that I felt I know its special it’s the thing that makes everything ok, it’s the feeling that makes me unable to stop smiling. It’s so unique but universal because I know that every has something that makes them feel this was whatever it maybe.

I wished that could have met him, I just wish so hard and so much that I could have known him or even seen him, maybe in concert but I don't care how. I have played it out so many times in my head just meeting him, and noticing the little things, and try to take in the moment that complete perfect moment and knowing that my dream is completely impossible completely kills me. I genuinely feel like my soul gets crushed a bit more each time knowing this.  The only thing I can feel happiness in is that I was alive and on this earth for some of the same time he was and got to experience his effect on the world in my lifetime, which is something only future generations can read about like how I will never know what Elvis’s effect on the world felt like or Beatle mania.

Now I bet I know what you're think that it's a bit weird to feel so strongly about someone you never met or even seen live or anything, so why do you feel so strongly ? Well the answer is that I feel like there is something about him not his music just him that is so relatable and I identify with on such a basic human level that transcends through time and generation gaps and you can see his genuine self and childlike innocence and genius in every bit of footage he is in. And in everything he does

That’s why when I hear someone insulting someone I feel so strongly and spiritually about, when they insult my hero. I feel that in my mind it is completely justified to feel anger towards them and try to defend him to the best of my ability or if they are on TV or in the public eye I try to boycott things they are involved in. it may seem childish but I just think that if everyone stood up for what they believed in and didn’t kick people when they are down (any one not just Michael Jackson I hate random mindless celebrity criticising they are all people with their own feelings and insecurities) then hopefully people would see that although it may be a little joke to them that these public figures have feelings/family members that may see there joke as not very funny. (even though there have been times I have stayed quiet which I have regretted like in college for example I never even told anyone I liked Michael Jackson and had to avoid wearing any of the ten+ t shirts I had at the time I just hid this huge part of me for 2 years for fear of what other people might think and that is one of my biggest regrets)

But in a way I feel like writing this and exposing this now and just leaving this post with some of my innermost feelings and I don't know who will or won't read it  and truly not caring because now I have gained enough self-confidence and self-esteem that even if those people in college or anyone I have hidden this from  doesn’t  like what I have written or think this is weird, I truly and honestly can say I don't care. I won't stop feeling this magic when I hear his music and it won't change the fact that on his birthday every year I watch “The Wiz”, “Moonwalker”, “This Is It” and now I will include “The Bad25 Documentary” in a mini MJ movie marathon. And I won't stop me blaring his music when I am upset or thinking of music videos for his new songs and it definitely won’t stop him being my hero, I will keep on being me so I might as well let people see it.

(Also Watch Bad25th Anniversary Documentary).

Things I wonder (it's terrific)

Just to let all my reader (notice no plural) know I am working on something that isn’t a list but it’s taking ages because I have very poor concentration and keep losing focus. so I will try my hardest not to give up on this and write it quickly but for now this will have to do

Things I wonder

1.       Will a combination of cheese and rice be nice or disgusting?

 I think that it could go either way, it could be a horrible abomination against taste buds, or it could be great and would make rice less boring and plain, and be an alternative to sauce.

2.       What happens after you die? 

Like really is it just nothing? And how can it seriously be nothing? can you imagine complete nothing, like you aren’t anything anymore. or is it heaven/hell or an afterlife, and if so what is the afterlife like. I don’t think it is like the stereotypical clouds and golden gates but what actually happens?

3.       Will Macaulay Culkin be in more movies?

He is so splendidly (fancy word alert) amazing and three of my top favourite films star him

·         My girl

·         Home alone

·         Party monster

4.       How do babies think?

Like they can’t think with words because they don’t know any, so like how to they think things, seriously?

5.       Who actually likes Joan Rivers?

 She is horrible I personally hate her seriously I hate her if she is ever on my TV I will immediately change the channel or leave the room.

6.       Why are Pringle tubes so narrow?

Really they should fix that. loads of their potential customers are large people so why deter them by not allowing them to eat your product

7.       Why terrific is a good word and not a synonym for terrible like horrific/horrible

it makes no sense to me but I might try and start a one girl revolution and use the word the way I think it should be (see example below)

Stranger: help me friend has just been hit by a bus!

Me: oh that’s terrific, I will call 999

8.       I wonder what it will take to get my blog noticed.

 Maybe a super popular friend will show all of their friends, then they will show all of their friends and it will spread all around the world!

9.       Will whole pronouncing with scone ever be resolved?

IT IS SCONE (rhymes with stone)

10.   Why do I love my baby sisters building blocks so much (I love building towers)

It’s actually weird there have been moments where she will have walked off, or is having a nap and I'm still playing with them.

11.   Would custard and Nutella be yummy or hideous?

(same thoughts as the cheesy rice)