the day I shrunk really really small for some reason.

Ok everyone listen up. so I can tell you the extremely true, and not in any way made up by me at 4oclock in the morning one time when I couldn’t sleep then decided to write it down so I could put it on my blog. no this is all 100% true. (may not be true at all and is most likely made up by me at 4oclock in the morning one time when I couldn’t sleep then decided to write it down so I could put it on my blog) this story is called the day I shrunk really really small for some reason (warning this story may have some slight major plot holes)

So it all began one day on a dark and stormy night some many many many millennia ago, about this time last year. And I had just come home from my intense workout of sitting watching TV and decided to switch it up and watch TV on my room before I go to sleep. not long after I did this I slipped in to a peaceful slumber, but when morning had broken like the first morning (betcha got that song in your head now) I appeared to not be in my room I was surrounded by darkness and almost weighed down by this darkness it was suffocating.

I started running (jokes I don’t run) and then I fell suddenly off of the end of my bed. I was still in my room and I wondered (whilst falling) why I was falling off my bed then it hit me (the floor Haha im so funny.  I must be in an episode of Punked and they have replaced all my furniture with giant replicas (obviously) then super suddenly, the ground was shaking and my door burst open (it just opened normally but I like adding description). it was my sister she had come in to my room to steal Dvds (that’s right I know) but what I did notice (with my keen observation) was that she was about 10000 times taller than me (I mean I am the shortest in my family but this is ridiculous) and then I started to think maybe I wasn’t on Punked (I doubt they would have the budget big enough to create a giant Ebony (my sister) robot) at that moment I realised I must have shrunk really really tiny for some reason, then just as my sister was about to leave my room (being kind enough to stay just until I finished my really long thought process) I jumped on to her shoe realising it would probably be quicker than walking.

but traveling on my sisters shoe did have some disadvantages, as she was walking towards to the front door I thought ok well if she goes outside I could fall off and never be able to get back home and find the antidote. (I mean there has to be some kind of antidote to this it’s how it works in the movies either that or I have to learn some kind of lesson about appreciating the people around me). So not wanting to get stuck outside I started climbing up her jeans and hide in her pocket. After what fell like a week in her pocket, I had grown tired of being crushed between receipts and pennies and thought that I should make a break for it and even if I never made it home at least I would have a good adventure, movies and stories are never made out of people who do the common sense of easiest solution the first time, no they all do a super complex series of things and have a good couple of hours’ worth of adventure to entertain their audience.

So to jump out of her pocket from this height I would need some kind of parachute so I grabbed a stick of gum out of the pack and started to chew it “oh fuck” it was minty. I hate mint gum. I considered spitting it out and just not bother with an adventure I mean its minty gum. I knew this adventure would have some difficultly but ewww, anyway during my extremely long train of thought I had chewed the gum enough to escape. So I got up and stood on the edge of her pocket and jumped as I was falling I blew a bubble and floated safely to the ground. (simple)

When I looked around I was in Brighton and I decided I might as well go to the cinema so I walked down to the odeon and watched a film. then I got a bit bored and wanted to go bowling so when I got out of the odeon I jumped on a car exhaust and travelled close to the marina and jumped off and had to walk the rest of the way after a fun afternoon of bowling (don’t ask how I bowled being tiny)

I then climbed up a phone box and called Morgan Freeman then I explained everything that happened (he was pissed off I didn’t invite him bowling but he got over it) and said he had and antidote because the same thing happened to him last week so he sent it in the post (6 to 8 weeks later I was cured).

Telling you of nonsense things

The end.

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