that is a day in the life of me

So I thought that I wanted to write something,  so you can all get to know me more and I would like tell you what happens in an average day for me. so I thought I would compose for you a little account of my daily accomplishments.

Ok, so I wake up every day at the crack of 1pm……………………… and promptly roll over and go back to sleep for another 45mins. then I am forced to get up, either by one of three things:

1.       my need to pee

2.       the sun is being incredibly inconsiderate and is too bright glaring through my might as well be transparent curtains

Or

3.       the fact my channels on my TV aren’t tuned in and am stuck looking at a blue screen(damn digital switchover)

I then ever so carefully yank out any clean clothes that I can see on the house of cards style of floordrobe thing I have going on. After I am dressed I proceed to rebuild my pile (somewhat of a daily chore) I then daintily frolic between the obstacles on my floor I have so thoughtfully set up to add a nice homey feel. and go to the kitchen and give my parents the privileged opportunity to make me a bacon sandwich, but they pretend to be too busy dealing with my baby sister (this is clearly their little way of keeping me grounded knowing I will be so rich soon I will never have to cook again) so in an effort to keep in touch with the common man I make myself some cereal (this is in no way because I am lazy) after my breakfast it’s like 2ish so I am just in time for the amazing quality day time programming that housewives/husbands (let’s not be sexist guys) and the jobless know all too well and after a short 5 hours of TV. I then have some awesome dinner my dad makes at this point in the day I try to find out the daily goings on in the outside world from the other occupants in my house I guess you could call them my family (still 90% sure I was switched at birth)

And then I finish my extremely exhausting day with a blog entry and a few moments (4hours) spending valuable time on the wondrous internet  debating with all the wholesome people it has to offer who are open to new opinions and are not in any way creepy and stupid.

And that is a day in the life of me J

The end

(If parts of this make no sense or are poorly written is because I am super tired and don’t care about proof reading.)

gotta scoot newt

i still want to be a pokemon trainer

Two posts in one day aren’t you lucky, I have been thinking about a lot of stuff recently. how our past shapes our future and all the things I dreamed of being when I grew up. (I say that like I'm some kind of adult now Haha) and there are a lot of jobs I went through before I decided what I want to be (I'm still not decided) this is a rough order from about age 5 to now of all the things I wanted to be.

·         A princess (how original)

·         A cat (i was a bit special)

·         An artist

·         A Pokémon trainer

·         A cartoonist

·         A children’s writer

·         A singer

·         A shop owner

·         An inventor

·         A writer (again)

·         A voice over person For cartoons

·         A t shirt designer

·         A politician

·         A video game developer

·         A chef

·         A DJ

·         An author

·         A photographer

·         A child care worker

·         A magazine publisher

·         An actor

·         A film editor

·         Simon Cowell

·         A comedian

·         A comedy writer

·         A famous YouTube viral person

·         A Hollywood script writer

·         And finally a super awesome blogger (just kidding I have absolutely no idea what I want to be)

When I was thinking about this I was looking at how writer comes up a few times and how I always sort of felt like I wanted to be a writer in-between all the other stuff. I have always loved writing, but one thing that did kind of inspire me was when I was about 14/15 my friend old Martha was always a really good writer (and used to write online for the viva Lewes for a while) and she had a really good way with words and I admired that. I also sat next to her in English and copied her. And wished I was that good but  I looked for an old article of hers that mentions me (why else would I want to find it) to show you what kind of style of writer she was and I couldn’t find it but I found a similar thing to the article, she wrote on her old blog and I just wanted to put it on here

I will also put the link to her old blog below but there are only a few entries.

http://marthaspace-marthaspace.blogspot.co.uk/

Walking out onto the running track outside school, I was already out of breath… I had only been outside for around 20 seconds, and already I wanted to go back.
The teacher, let’s just call her Miss Sports-Nut for now, bellows out threats of detention for anyone who refuses to conform. I begin to weigh up the pros and cons, as I find myself faced with the choice: 30 minutes detention in the company of 3 of the bolshiest women on the face of this planet, telling me about how stupid I was to be so weedy… or the E word… exercise… for one whole hour.
The heat is practically blistering, I snap out of my thoughts to find that my feet have made the decision for me, I’m already there.
I have hated sports of any kind since I was very young, I remember my best friend as a child, Lorna, and I used to dread sports day… our noisy peers sweating from the artificial thrill, the overly-competitive parents, screaming from the side lines, the luke-warm glasses of fruit squash, full of drowned flies, spending their last moments of life suffocating in sticky sweetness.
And the teachers… I’m sure we’ve all had one of them: the aggressive, out-going ones: alpha males and females, always ready for cut-throat action, wherever they may find it. Let’s call him Mr Sports-Nut, (wow, I’m creative with my pseudonyms today…), the man’s man, can often be found at the pub watching football on the fuzzy analogue television, glass of beer in hand. He looks like he has two boxes of corn flakes stuffed down his Adidas shirt and once conducted an entire assembly clad in a lycra bodysuit, not many can carry that off. He’s the type of guy who once sneezed and Miss R.S exclaimed in alto tones ‘God bless you’ and I accidentally got a serious case of word vomit and said ‘He doesn’t need God’s blessing. He IS God.’
Last year, my biscuit-tin dweller, Bridie, and I, (she hates that joke) were P.E buddies. Our teacher was Miss Tangerine, a Jack Wills-clad, bleach blonde woman with the personality of a boiled potato and the voice of a dying drag queen. We managed to almost give her a mental breakdown by standing at opposite ends of the netball court yelling ‘Wing defence’ ‘Goal attack’ over and over again. It really unnerved her: ‘twas tremendous fun, until she gave me a level 1 and everyone else a level 5-7 at which point it was even better. My father was so proud.

good sign off phrase

So yesterday, I talked about needing a good sign off phrase for my blog entries. And I searched high and low, in the deepest darkest corners of the internet for some ideas. (Just kidding I googled it) and I found some good ideas. I also came up with some myself, so here they are (and I will test out various ones in my future entries)

So found loads that are ok, but I also have narrowed it down to a top ten list of my favourites.

But I will start with the ones that didn’t make the cut.

·         Over and out

·         Stay tuned

·         I’m going to Make like a bread truck and haul buns

·         Live long and prosper

·         I’m out

·         More to come

·         Smiles

·         Hasta la vista, baby

·         Ta ta for now

·         after while crocodile

·         peace out, brussel sprout

·         May the force be with you

·         don't be laggin' komodo dragon

·         PEACE!!!

·         Thy humble servant

·         Smell ya later

·         Later Vader

·         Hasta Lazana Don’t get none on ya

·         Take Care, Comb your hair

·         Cheers Big Ears

·         Im going to Make like a baby and head out screaming

·         Anything you can do I can do better

·         I didn't mean anything I wrote

·         later hosen

·         Sincerely, the self-appointed/undisputed ruler of the world

·         Im going to Make like a tree and Leaf

·         Chow Mein

·         Yours till the lettuce peeks to see the salad dressing

·         Later Gator

·         Toodles,

·         Later tater

·         *Elevator Music*

·         The end

·         Go and make disciples

·         pretend I folded this up and passed it to you under the desk

·         don't meander salamander

·         so as it is written, let it be done

·         In my humble but mind-blowing opinion

·         Your stalker

·         Get it? Got it? Good

·         mañana Iguana

·         Yours in coexistence

·         Telling you of nonsense things

·         This writing is in Spanish when you’re not looking

And here is the top ten list *drum roll*

10.   This message will  self-destruct in 10 seconds

9.       burn after reading

8.       To be continued…

7.       Cheerio (maybe a bit too fancy )

6.       I don't like you (true, but I need more readers so I have to lie for now)

5.       I had better get off the toilet now.

4.       May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman

3.       don't forget to spay or neuter your pets  (I like this one because it has a good message)

2.       gotta scoot newt

1.       From the mind of a genius (just plain true and that’s why it wins)

ShyPod Alphabet

So, I know I have missed a few days lately, but to be honest I have had things to do and a life (which is unusual for me). I went to see 5 year engagement (it was only ok) and other things. But because I have been away I will make it up to you (I know you can’t live without me). I have a really good topic to talk about it is a phenomenon that I myself am a sufferer and afflicted with this phenomenon is called “shypod”. (Mainly because of the 800+ Jackson songs, i don't want people to think I'm an obsessed weirdo).

ShyPod - when you are hesitant to show someone your iPod library because you are embarrassed/afraid of what they will think of you once they see it.

And as I'm trying to be a grown up now I need to get over childish things so I am going to reveal the contents of my iPod (obviously not my entire iPod because that’s over 3000 songs)

But I have picked the first song of each letter in the alphabet (I don’t think that quite makes sense) to give you an idea of the kind of stuff I listen to so here it is

Song	Artist
The A Team	Ed Sheeran
Ba Bump	The Black Eyed Peas
Caged Birdsong	Aloe Blacc
D.S.	Michael Jackson
E-Ne-Me-Ne-Mi-Ne-Moe (The Choice Is Yours To Pull)	The Jackson 5
Fairytale (Let Me Live My Life This Way)	Rebecca Ferguson
G.I.N.A.S.F.S.	Fall Out Boy
Half Time	Amy Winehouse
I'd Rather Go Blind	Beyoncé
Jackie Big Tits	The Kooks
Kansas City	Little Richard
La La (Means I Love You)	The Jackson 5
Magic	The Black Eyed Peas
Nasty Girl	Destiny's Child
O Holy Night	Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)	Michael Jackson
The Queen And I	Gym Class Heroes
Radio	Beyoncé
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town	The Jackson 5
Tabloid Junkie	Michael Jackson
U + Ur Hand	P!nk
Valerie	Amy Winehouse Feat. Mark Ronson
W.O.M.A.N	Etta James
Xcape	Michael Jackson
Ya Man Ain't Me	Chris Brown
Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah [Live]	The Jackson 5
1 + 1	Beyoncé
2-4-6-8	The Jackson 5
4 Minutes	Madonna ft Justin Timberlake
634-5789	Otis Redding
7-Rooms Of Gloom	The Four Tops
842-3089 (Call My Name)	Etta James

Betcha didn’t think I could do the whole alphabet well I did so there.(screw you) Well see ya tomorrow. (I need a good sign off phrase.............. I should work on that) Bye.