Mathematically incorrect jokes aren’t funny. (TV ads)

Ok I have decided to talk about TV ads today. Now if you have ever had the privilege to be in the same room when I am watching TV you know all too well how I feel about TV ads……. I HATE THEM

They are stupid. and I will tell you why in my favourite way a list (I love lists).

1.       First of all they are designed to be louder than the show you were watching. (Because people get up and walk away from the TV during ads, to poop or make tea or some shit like that.) So they are loud to attract you back you the wonderfulness that is TV all (I love TV). All that loudness would be fine if it didn’t interfere with my volume rules (see my quirks entry. this means unless I make a dramatic bodyguard saving the presidents life, style leap for the remote then and turn the volume down then I almost always get someone having a go at me for it being too loud (despite my logical arguments and reasoning as to why).

2.       Reason 2 the kind of things that are advertised, for example recently I have a new most hated advert. The BT one with the students talking and that knob head trying to impress the girl by being a fan of her music taste. The worst part of that advert (the shit covered cherry on the crap sundae that is that ad) is the lie about him going to the concert in 1984 that makes absolutely no sense, the whole story line of the ads is they’re students so they would be like what. early to mid-twenties and for him to see them in concert even if he saw them the day he was born he would have to be 28. (And for all of you out there saying he is obviously lying) he doesn’t really even like Duran Duran he is doing it to impress the girl well I am fully aware of that (I'm not a moron) I'm just saying mathematically incorrect jokes aren’t funny. Another point to say on that ad is why Duran Duran really if you were going to pick any band from the eighties. Why them seriously!?

3.       Reason three the length of advert breaks they are either too short or too long. the channels with the that are to short are annoying for obvious reasons (doing 1s/2s) and by time you come back to your show you missed some. On the flipside (I think I'm too white to ever say that again) channels were ad breaks are too long leads to boredom and then I will walk away, and do something else like actually interact with other members of the human race then I will probably still miss some of my TV show by time I get back to ignoring people (because they pissed me off with their stupidity).

4.       My fourth and final reason (I have more but I'm lazy) is the music they use its either something that just came out the charts so it’s been overplayed and everyone is sick of it (but hey let’s hear the most annoying catchy part 6 times an hour) good one advertising executives. Or they’re a shit jingle specifically designed to sick in your head and drive you insane from the inside, until you are nothing more than a ball in the corner weeping in the foetal position muttering “go compare”.

Well that is all I have to say on ads for now. that wasn’t quite how I planned it would go, but oh well fuck it. Hmmm it’s not really a proper list either damn it.